(4) The Downfall of a (Hopefully) Decent Man?

Posted: April 15, 2011 in Uncategorized

I love Costco.  This is a bad thing, because Costco is about one mile from my home, and I already walk that mile every day for another reason.  So I end up going to Costco almost every day.  Know those Greeters that stand at the entrance and check to make sure you have a Costco membership card?  They don’t ask me to show a card, they wave me by before I can get my hand into my wallet…  That might be a sign.

I also hate Costco.  Costco, they’re cruel, they provide samples…  And they often provide samples from the cheese aisle.  I love cheese.  Cheese is nectar, granted to us mere mortals by the gods of mythologies.  But cheese doesn’t love me.  Cheese is expensive.  It’s also bad for you in anything like the amount of it I want to eat.  But…  I want it!  Costco introduces me to cheese I would never have tried, such as Tnuva’s Bree, or perhaps the finest delicate cheese ever, Dubliner’s Irish Cheese.

To my knowledge, the only legal crimes I have committed in my life would be speeding on Interstate (NEVER on residential streets!).  But Costco is waving red in front of a bull.  I will resist to the last breathe ever becoming a shoplifter…  But Costco doesn’t make it easy…

Will my Downfall be a loaf of Dubliner’s Irish Cheese from Costco?  Pray for my soul.  Or at least my willpower.


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